For my birthday, someone got me a "missed connection" on craigslist!!
quite possibly my favorite thing ever. ::
oh tattooed chick who works at mud! i want to scream out my love for you from the top of a mountain, but there aren't really a lot of mountains in the NY metropolitan area. you're like the girl from Ipanema, but way more white and i doubt you speak Portuguese. Your beauty is so illuminating and i kind of go deaf when i see your face! that smile! your cute knit hat! your long chestnut hair! everything about you entrances me, except, you have a ton of shitty tattoos and a septum ring...
I can see it now, you and i walking down the street hand in hand, glowing. The mere sight of us together will conjure "happy together" by the Turtles to everyone who looks upon us. then we'll walk into a cafe so i can introduce you to my friends to show off your beauty. After you have ordered your food, you'll politely excuse yourself to go to the restroom, and when in your absence, with a shit eating grin on my face, i'll look to my friends and say, "so... pretty awesome right?" to which they'll reply "uh.. dude, she has a septum ring" but i will defend your honor and stand up and say "so?!? were we not young once? dont we have some sort of questionable fashion skeleton in our closet? are we not hipsters to boot? besides, i find her love of shitty 90's hardcore endearing." they'll snort and remind me i have better taste than that. "fuck you" i'll say. then i'll mumble almost inaudibly "she likes other stuff too! like um... drum and... uh, bass" they'll laugh at me i know, but they dont know you like i do. like i think that it's cute that you find the new Animal Collective record "pretty weird if you're fucked up". i dont have to explain it to anyone. you make me food when i'm sick, and....
fuck this. i think you're about to file a restraining order if i come into your place of business again. you don't notice me anyway and i am pretty sure you have a boyfriend that i wouldn't enjoy fighting. i'm taking my patronage to starbucks. their black and green uniforms are like kryptonite for my boner anyway.
And for now, I will get early day manicures, knit a bit of hat & scarf, drink some more coffee and possibly spend some money that I shouldn't on something to wear to kareoke tonight.
Have a good day!!
yay for 3rd grade lazerbeam photos!
(me before the '90's hardcore babe tattoos & septum ring)